Come Back To Nothing Special

Not diligent enough to want to stay, too diligent to leave as I've planned. I sacrifice for nothing, and remain as empty as before. It looks more and more as though I won't be going to zen center this coming week after all, instead I will be working on all the many projects I've been given because everyone else (everyone who is committed to the enterprise, unlike me) has gone on vacation. I am bitter, especially as I know that the only reason I have all this work is because there's no one else to do it. It's my own fault, I suppose, I should know better than to accept anything, from anyone, anymore.