From Your Hatred And From Your Love
Feb. 26th, 2003 07:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
venetianarchiveSometimes I wish there was someone, just one person who knew all that I was, all the parts of me that I cannot concord, that divide and struggle against each other. And it is true, that there are some who come close.
Further reading has reminded me of something that I once was, that I still am on some level, just that I have pushed those desires and instincts down into memory and forgetfulness. I will have to push them even even further away in the days and months to come, if I am to succeed in this next, albeit transitional, phase of my life. Yet, it is not unconnected in my mind - something to do with austerity, discipline and ritual - and reclaiming a kind of pride in achievement - pride in something, at least.
But there are times when I want to be able to explain why the story of a particular fictional courtesan strikes such a chord with me, and have the analysis be understandable, even interesting to the listener. Perhaps another time.
Further reading has reminded me of something that I once was, that I still am on some level, just that I have pushed those desires and instincts down into memory and forgetfulness. I will have to push them even even further away in the days and months to come, if I am to succeed in this next, albeit transitional, phase of my life. Yet, it is not unconnected in my mind - something to do with austerity, discipline and ritual - and reclaiming a kind of pride in achievement - pride in something, at least.
But there are times when I want to be able to explain why the story of a particular fictional courtesan strikes such a chord with me, and have the analysis be understandable, even interesting to the listener. Perhaps another time.
